Monday, March 16, 2015

Smart Phone Luddite

Well, I finally decided to act like it is 2005 and bought myself a Smart Phone. Joni went and picked one up one for both of us. Two mini droids (sounds like Star Wars). We now spend more money on our electronics: cell phones, Internet, satellite TV----we spend more money on those three things than we do on our house payment.

I remain mostly a technological Luddite until someone actually shows me the usefulness of a device or the sheer fun of something that connects all of us together. I was anti-personal computer until a visit to my brother's back in 1995, where I ignored him and his whole family in order to chat with some stranger in a chat room on his computer. Amazed by this technology, I drove home to Reno from Minnesota in about 26 hours in order to go buy a computer. I've been hooked ever since.

But up until that day when Doug showed me how it works, I was anti-computer. My brother, who is much more modern than I ever hope to be, argued that computers were "extensions of our brains" and that we become inherently smarter with the things. I guess that's one of the major differences between my brother and me: He was a Gary Hart fan; I liked Mondale. He is modern; I am not. But as for computers enhancing our lives and making us smarter? Yeah, right. Maybe. But porn and computer games are probably the two biggest uses of the PC. And now nobody even e-mails anymore (let alone write an actual letter---can you remember the last time you received one?).

So now I have a Smart Phone. And a Blue Tooth (can anybody tell me why we call those little ear plugs a tooth?). I still can't figure out how the sound is actually picked up by the Blue Tooth. I still can't answer a call with the thing.

As for the phone? It took me a day to figure out how to answer it. Press and swipe. Sort of like Harry Potter's wand, "Swish and flick". Kylie showed me some basics as to how to use the phone. Like how to turn it on. Basic stuff.

I downloaded two things when I got the phone. The first thing was a Facebook app. Now the thing vibrates anytime a friend does an update on Facebook. The second thing I downloaded was Walden by H.D. Thoreau.

What would Henry think? Henry didn't even like trains. Nor newspapers.

And so now I do something I swore I would never do (besides vote Republican) and that is: I sent a text message. It makes me feel a little like I moved to the suburbs and bought a BMW. Now to learn that awful corruption of English that the text message has taught us. It used to be called, shorthand. Now it is just text language and goes something like this. LOL U SCK. BRB. CYa.

What would Shakespeare say? Or Thoreau? Or Ed Abbey?

Essentially, I need the Smart Phone for work. And to be an alarm clock. The jury is out as to how much I actually enjoy the thing. So far I'm not so enamored with it that I'd drive across the continent in order to purchase one.

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